Nomination Acceptance Speech Review

            It was frustrating to listen to my Nomination Acceptance Speech as it sounded like I had not practiced at all, when in reality I had practiced a great deal. From what I could hear, I stood completely still throughout the speech, which would be great if I was giving a demonstration speech on how to be a guard for Buckingham Palace, but for a political speech it was a terrible thing to do. A political speech should be passionate and insightful and not delivered by someone who speaks like a valley girl after a stroke; “today I want to talk to you about three topics that are pretty important to me. Um, everyone is talking about, um, things such as, um, the economy and, um, gay marriage, and I think we should talk about things that aren’t talked about as often which are universal healthcare, school vouchers and the idea of vat-grown meat”. It seems we were all quite lucky that I got my thesis statement out without going on a diatribe about how awesome my shoes were or without a rapid succession of ‘ums’ that would fully illustrate how I should never become a public speaker, which is worrying as I plan to spend the duration of my career in front of a classroom.

            When I wasn’t spending my time peppering my speech with ‘ums’ and ‘uhs’, which really added some credibility, I was spewing out random strings of sentences that were so fast and garbled together that you never quite knew where one began and the other ended. An example of this would be when I was discussing Universal Healthcare and I said “my first concern is that without competition pharmaceutical companies are going to keep raising their pricesalreadytheytake home seventeen cents per dollar (said like a question) as opposed to oil companies who only take home seven cents so we’regoingtoneed to put a cap on that, you know, maybe we could legislate how much they can charge and then tax them on that and use that money to help, uh, lower income families with healthcare (said triumphantly)”.

            I’m not quite sure how my speech turned into this, but there once was a time when it was well practiced and articulate. It even had a lovely PowerPoint that emphasized each statement. Sure, the PowerPoint was still present, and the speech was there amidst the emotion breakdown, but it was nothing compared to what it had been during the practice runs. I was prepared, but sadly being prepared wasn’t enough to save me from the humiliating meltdown that I had before my peers. I am a smart woman who works extremely hard on every task she is given, but I feel that 6 minutes before my peers discredited everything I work towards. I suppose what is most mortifying is that I practiced nonstop. I practiced in the car while I did my errands, I practiced in from of the mirror in the mornings, I even practiced with my boyfriend, but I still managed to make a complete fool of myself. I didn’t think I could possibly dread giving the next two speeches any more than I had, but apparently I can. I’m not sure how I can stand before my peers while appearing to be confident when I know that I sound like a complete idiot.

            As for the type of organization that I used, I chose topical. My topics were universal healthcare, which I opposed, school vouches, which I supported, and vat-grown meat, which I felt we should explore. For an example of my dazzling display of topical organization, please see the first paragraph.

            My introduction was nothing to be proud of. I would like to take a moment to transcribe it for you, so that you may get the complete awesomeness that was my emotional breakdown. “Hello, I am Megan Burks, and I am Presidential Nominee for the Salt of the Earth political party. (4 second pause while someone, somewhere, hums a ditty) Um, and today I want to talk to you about three topics that are pretty important to me. Um, everyone is talking about, um, things such as, um, the economy and, um, gay marriage, and I think we should talk about things that aren’t talked about as often which are universal healthcare, school vouchers and the idea of vat-grown meat.” I introduced myself and my topics, I got the audiences attention, if only long enough to say my name, and clearly stated my thesis. What I did not do was make up some sort of back-story to establish credibility. Instead, I tried to do that throughout my speech by giving personal details that illustrated why this topic was important to me, which was embarrassing, but I felt it was necessary. For instance, when I revealed my family’s history and fight with cancer, I did so to illustrate why universal healthcare wouldn’t work for me.

            I felt that I did say each topic clearly and that my speech remained focused on my stated purpose. I chose to discuss three topics that I felt weren’t talked about enough, and I tried to demonstrate why I was passionate about those choices. I may not have executed my speech particularly well, but I felt I was clear about my topics.

            In my speech, I used several different kinds of support. For instance, when I talked about vat-grown meat, I used the example of how cows contribute gas emissions to our environment, which would require us to change. I used testimony from nurses.com which stated how Canadian surgeons felt about the wait times for their patients. I also used anecdotes in my speech. Though I wasn’t particularly funny, I shared personal stories with the class in order to illustrate why I felt the way I did.

            In conclusion, I would give myself a D for this speech. It was clear that I had prepared as I had visual aids and clear topics, but my delivery was horrible. I am embarrassed that I gave that level of performance in a classroom as I typically pride myself as someone who goes above and beyond what is asked of her. I sincerely hope that my future speeches are nothing like the one that I am reviewing, and I can promise that I will never run for political office. Also, I believe that this has made me realize that I should think long and hard before becoming a teacher. How could anyone ever take me seriously? Teaching has always been a passion of mine, but perhaps I never considered that being passionate wasn’t enough. I will practice and prepare more thoroughly for my next speeches, perhaps emphasizing speaking slower, and I can only hope that doing so will help me improve.

            Matt and I watched The Other Boleyn Girl last night. I still am unsure what to say about this. I think this was the first thing I have ever seen Scarlet Johanson in where she actually acted. It was actually pretty good. Typically she just kind of sucks, but she was decent in this. Up until now I couldn’t peg what she was famous for. She can’t really act, but she is in movies, she cannot sing, but she is putting out a record, and she is considered uber hot, but her nose is not so good. Then I realized it. BOOBS. If boobs = famous, then I’m the next big thing. But really… go watch a movie with her in it (like Match Point) and don’t look at her boobs. It makes a difference. Anyway, she was decent in Boleyn, which was much appreciated as it was 2 hours long.

            On my quest to better myself, I have decided to learn how to cook. *Queue ominous music* Cooking stresses me out! I don’t really know why, but it does. Perhaps it is the need to create seven things simultaneously, but I hate it. I do LOVE to bake though. I’m a cupcake kind of girl and love creating interesting and cute cupcakes. It brings together my love of creation and my need for my house to smell like heaven. That, and I’m not a huge fan of baked goods… unless it comes in a bread form, in which case it is mouth porn. So, I made an effort to cook something yesterday and it turned out quite well. I made pork and pineapple skewers with pineapple brown rice. It was quite yummy, much to my surprise. I even had to make my own marinade! Holy shit. I’m typically a macaroni and cheese from the box kind of girl, so this was an accomplishment. I’m going to try and make something every week. Who knows, maybe I will post pictures! I’m Martha Stewart bitches.

            So, I’m staying at my mom’s house, which is the ‘haunted’ one. I was home alone earlier and I heard knocking on my front door, so I went to inspect. I’m looking out the peephole when I hear the stairs creaking behind me as if someone was walking down them. I turned to look, and no one was there. I scurried back to my room after that.

            Alright, I have to go scope out apartments now for Matt. It will be interesting to see what happens with Matt and me as we are not quite sure if we will live together or not. I dunno… I will keep you updated.

            I’ve been totally MIA lately, and I’m sorry that I suck. So, I was doing summer school and was taking History and Political Science… neither of which are my strong subjects. It was a wicked brutal summer session, but I passed and lived, so that’s good. But, the fun didn’t stop there. We moved and it was also totally brutal. Did you know that moving = lots of fighting? I didn’t, but I do now.

            My parents came down on Thursday to help us out. They had to bring Mel, their adorable dog, down so we couldn’t really go out and do nice dinners or anything. Matt and I grabbed some Chinese food and headed over to my mom’s hotel where we split a bottle of wine and a couple of beers. Then we headed out to a little park with Mel. I had to pee, so I went back to the hotel. I put the card into the slot and it didn’t open. Then I tried again… and again and again. I was becoming more and more desparate and began assaulting the door when it suddenly opened. There stood a guy in his early 30s in the doorway and I saw a baby and wife sitting on the bed. He stood there staring at me expectantly when I realized that I had the wrong room… actually, wrong floor. I whimpered an apology and ran upstairs. Whaddaya know? The key card worked there.

            So, after I got over being an idiot, the four (or five, I suppose) of us went to this place on the pier where they serve a drink called the Mean Tai. It’s like a mai tai but twice as strong. Both of my parents and Matt had that and I got a drink called the Tropical Itch or something like that. All I know is that my mom and I were drunk and annoying and it was fabulous. Oh, also, my drink came with a backscratcher in it. Amazing.

            Saturday we got all packed up. We decided not to rent a Uhaul, so we crammed everything into my car, Matt’s car and my stepdad’s truck. Then we headed up to Sacramento. The ride would have been boring as I was crammed in my car alone, but between my book on tape and the stuff in the passenger seat falling on me periodically, I was quite entertained. You know what is weird? When the guy narrating your book on tape is also in one of your favorite tv shows. And the fact that he doesn’t change his voice very much for any of the characters except for the token black guy, who the narrator gets really into voicing. I was cracking up. You know what else is weird? Narrated sex scenes that involve quadriplegics and a woman who bought a book titled something along the lines of The Broken Lover. I almost peed myself. Anyway, the trip took roughly 7 hours including several stops, but we all made it. I just have to figure out what the hell to do now!

In the past week I’ve…

Gotten a parking ticket

Stepped on glass (it’s still in my toe)

Burnt my thumb

Burnt the roof of my mouth to the point that it blistered

Hit my head on free weights

Gotten locked out of my house

Been pooped on by a bird

Exposed myself to a professor

Royally hacked off my eyebrows when the light went out as I applied the wax

Spilled hot tea on myself

Cut my hand on my screen door