Meg Speak

 

Number: 25

Movie: Ring 2

Summary: Samara is still coming after people, but she finally finds Rachel again and decides she wants her as her mommy so she tries to posses Aiden.

Thoughts: I never wanted to watch the second one because, well, I’m a chicken shit. But I watched it and I made it, so there ya go. Anyway, it really wasn’t that scary, and in the end really should have left it at one movie as the sequal did nothing but tarnish the Ring name.

Number: 24

Movie:The Ring

Summary: A news reporter is investigating the death of her niece and her friends who died horribly one week after watching a video tape.

Thoughts: The first time I saw this movie it creeped me out quite a bit. I think it was the start of the whole Americans copying the J horror style. Anyway, it was effective.

Number: 23

Movie: RSVP

Summary: Nothing says “party” like murder!

Thoughts: I thought this was a pretty awesome movie. First of all, Jason Mews is in it and I have a bizarre little crush on him. It was humorous and fun, which is always fun if a movie isn’t too scary. I’m a firm believer that scary movies which fail to be scary should be humorous.

Number: 22

Movie: Gothika

Summary: Psychiatric doctor gets possessed and kills her husband. She then needs to prove her sanity and her innocence.

Thoughts: Pretty decent movie even though the ending was a little weak. The whole time I kept asking why no one fixed the lights.

Number: 21

Movie: Psycho (1998)

Summary: Psycho is a 1998 film remake of the Alfred Hitchcock 1960 version produced and directed by Gus Van Sant for Universal Pictures. Both films are based on the novel Psycho by Robert Bloch, which were in turn inspired by the crimes of Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein. The film's tagline is: "A recreation of the nightmare that started it all..."

Thoughts: Matt said that the most horrifying thing he has found out about me to date is that I do not like this movie. I just hate how everyone says “oh my gosh! They killed off the main character half way through!” WRONG, well at least in my opinion. Marion Crane is not the main character, Norman Bates is, and the extraordinary thing is that he isn’t introduced until halfway through. Anyway, I love Hitchcock in terms of his old show, but I’m not a fan of his films. I love him in smaller doses and am typically disappointed that I can guess the endings. Starring Vince Vaughn, Anne Heche, Julianne Moore, Viggo Mortensen and William H. Macy.

 

 

Number: 20

Movie: Candyman

Summary: Helen Lyle is a graduate student conducting research on modern folklore. While interviewing freshmen about their superstitions, she hears about a local legend known as Candyman, the son of a slave who was brutally tortured and murdered. According to the legend, anyone who looks into a mirror and chants his name five times will summon him, but at the cost of his or her own life. Thinking this is just the new spin she has been looking for, Helen enters the notorious gang-ridden territory known as the Cabrini-Green housing projects (the site of a brutal murder). Helen believes that Candyman cannot exist, but when she calls him into our world a string of murders begins and the police look to her as the primary suspect. Now, only one person can set her free: the Candyman.

Thoughts: Matt says that this was his childhood scariest movie. I have no recollection of it, though I know I’ve seen it. Guess it wasn’t too scary, right? Anyway, Matt and I are marveling over how many famous people appeared in scary movies. This one showcases the talents of Vanessa Williams and Tony Todd

Number: 19

Movie: Nightmare on Elm Street

Summary: Several teenagers are being terrorized in their sleep by Freddy Krueger. Fun Facts via Wiki: Written by Craven, a former English teacher, the film's premise is the question of where the line between dreams and reality lies. The villain, Freddy Krueger, thus exists in the "dream world" yet can kill in the "real world". Sequels to the original would continue to blur the distinction between dream and reality before finally challenging the line between film and reality by showing Heather Langenkamp, playing a fictionalized version of herself, haunted by the villain of a series of films she has starred in.

Thoughts: Introducing Jonny Depp! Yum. I don’t know what is with me and picking films with sexy, sexy men in them, but it sure makes me a happy girl. On a more serious note, this movie scared the hell out of me when I was a little kid and continues to scare me even though it is older than I am. Too bad the kids didn’t read The Rules via Scream before participating.

Number: 18

Movie: Hitcher

Summary: Two college kids almost hit a hitchhiker who turns out to be a killer. Complex, right?

Thoughts: I hated it 10 minutes in. The opening was lame and didn’t do the film justice. All that the beginning had was a guy picking a girl up, obligatory girl in bra shot, and then her having to pee. Holy crap! I think they must have filmed this last and been like “shit, we have all this gore and stuff and we forgot to make something that ties it all in. Maybe we should just have her take her shirt off. Ya, that sounds like a good idea.” Lame. Other than that, Sean Bean is awesome and I’m sure if the beginning didn’t suck I would have liked this movie more.

Number: 17

Movie: Scream 3

Summary: Tagline for this movie was: Faster. Harder. More Evil.

Thoughts: Same great cast along with Parker Posey and Jenny McCarthy. Oh, and let’s not forget Jay and Silent Bob, and of course, Patrick Dempsey. Patrick Dempsey and Jay are two of my biggest yum-yum guys. I know, Jay’s a weird one… don’t hate da playa hate da game. ;) Okay, I don’t know where that came from.

Scream 3 Rules:

Randy: Is this simply another sequel? Well, if it is, same rules apply. But, here's the critical thing. If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected back-story, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules do not apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy. That's right. It's a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get-go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules. One: you've got a killer who's gonna be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically, in the third one, you've gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. Number two: anyone, including the main character, can die. This means you, Sid. I%

So, I'm watching a scary movie (as this is all I do now) and suddenly my front door opens. WTF? Do you know just how freaked out I was? It wasn't like a fast kind of opening either. It was a *click* and then it creaked open. Bah. Luckily I wasn't home alone this time, so I woke Matt up (he was sleeping on the couch) and made him close it. Bah Scary.

I absolutely love The Whitest Kids You Know. It’s a Canadian comedy and it is both sick and hilarious. Here are two little clips from the show. The first, Slow Jerk, is so freaking funny and yet so very, very disturbing. The second is Get a New Daddy, which Matt and I sing constantly. Oh how I love thee Canadian boys.

 

 

Dear UCSB,

My boyfriend is in your Graduate program for Statistics and though he is quite happy with it, I am having a few problems. First off, your schedule is awkward. He has large gaps in his schedule which require him to stay on campus all day. A few times a week he stays until 6 p.m., which makes me sad as I get home at 2. Also, another issue I am having is with the homework load. He only has three problems or so per class, but they require hours of work. Some of them have taken him up to seven hours per problem to complete. Often times he works on homework from the time he gets home until 2 a.m. This is problematic for me as I get up for school at 6 (he’s still asleep) so I am asleep when he comes to bed.

You gave him the opportunity to be a T.A., which is amazing because you typically only offer those positions to doctorate students, but it’s an extra 20 hours a week he is required to be at school. That’s fine, I can deal with that, but today I am annoyed. On Fridays he is supposed to be home around 1 p.m. It is currently 5:49 and he is still at school. He is required to proctor and then grade at least two tests per quarter, but this is a little much. He’s been there for the past 5 hours or so and neither of us have any idea when he will be home. Do you know what it is like to have little or no interaction with your significant other? It sucks. How are we supposed to have a happy and healthy relationship is we never see each other and when we do get to see each other, one or both of us is doing homework?

Please change your rules, lighten the workload and realize that your students have home lives and girlfriends who miss them. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Megan

Super quick update:

Tutoring is going MUCH better. Turns out the kids aren't nearly as ghetto as I originally thought and most of them are really cool people. The essays got a million times better, so no more questioning whether or not illiteracy is an issue, though most essays still have to do with herpes. Whatever floats their boats.

Still haven't gotten a new Hospice patient... I don't know if I want one. >.< I'm avoiding the Hospice director like the plague.

School wise... SO MUCH HOMEWORK. Seriously, I am dying here. Chem test Wednesday, Math test tomorrow, Essay due tomorrow. Busy, busy bee.

I am absolutely cursed when it comes to hospice. My last patient not so nicely told me that I was not wanted and this one, well, it’s no good. I got my patient write up and it said that he had cancer and more than 6 months to live. I had the write up for about a week before I called because I always found that it was either too late or too early to call when I had the chance. Today at 6:46 p.m. I made my call to my new patient. This is how it went:

 

Them: Hello?

Me: Hi, may I please speak to Mrs. Jones?

Them: Who is this?

Me: My name is Megan and I am from Visiting Nurse and Hospice Care of Santa Barbara. I am the volunteer assigned to Mr. Jones.

Them: I’m sorry, but your cell phone is breaking up.

Me: Oh, sorry. I’m from Hospice.

Them: Okay, well, Mrs. Jones is a little busy right now. Can I help you?

Me: Sure! I am the volunteer assigned to Mr. Jones and I was wondering when would be a good time for me to come by and meet him.

Them: Oh, apparently you didn’t hear. He died this afternoon.

Me: Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.

Them: That’s fine. So I guess that means you didn’t hear. You must be low on the food chain.

Me: Apparently so. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Take care.Bye.

 

What the fuck? Hospice, don’t let me have any more patients. I am cursed.